let me start by saying at the young age of 34 i was suddenly widowed . i was devastated as he was not sick --- he died unexpectedly basically of a coronary --- his carotids blew out -- he died behind our house . there was a lot of speculation from police , cause he fell on something and it bashed his head in . i was a suspect for murder until the autopsy came back .

my children were as traumatized as i was , so in love with a good father figure as he . i had three small children , no education , no financial support . i took it very , very hard .

within two years my in-laws attacked me verbally , physically , emotionally and spiritually demanding i grieve not in front of the children , and put on masks and showed people what they wanted to see , not show them my pain during holidays ... nobody stood up for me and my choice to sit out one holiday , except of course , the grief therapist i was seeing that had advised me to follow my heart and soul . my in-laws did n't get it ! it changed forever my relationship with them , and i have never been back for a holiday . this is only one example of how my grief was disrespected ! my own ( new ) husband has seen me fall apart talking about the trauma when i shared from my soul . i collapse , can not breathe , hyperventilate , and generally am defunct for a few days if i even try to convey the hidden pain .

now about this movie ...

today , my soul was stirred , my heart broken . my fears and pain re-surfaced from the real demons this movie presents ; how one grieves compared to how others expect us too and the demons within . adam sandler portrayed perfectly the horrendous agony you face , overcome and most of all , work through on your own time ! this movie dredged up all the pain that i have tried over the years to deal with . you see , when something harms your soul so profoundly , so deep that utterances are all that come from your mouth in moments of thinking , you can not deal with it without wishing you were dead and walking through life , in a dead state .

the bible has a scripture , romans 8:26 that i have clung to , that when my mouth and soul know not what to pray for , that god 's holy spirit carries that agony to the feet of god -- i need not speak . sandler portrayed that to perfection !

there is a scene where he has been hauled into a court hearing , for mental health commitment purposes , and he goes back in to face his in-laws --- ( familiar to me ) --- and he tells them the stunning truths that he has been possessed by , per se , that he ca n't get over . it 's a profoundly strong , and mighty performance . i started bawling and had a hard time after wards getting up to walk out from the theater feeling my legs too weak to do so . my son was with me and saw it first hand , my precise motions while trying to hold it all together ; a lesson for him , my youngest who barely remembers his daddy . it 's been 13 years for me but this movie brought me back to the moment of losing my in-laws forever when they demanded a mask on my emotions and my surrendering to their desires , instead of respect to my own .

i write this , so that if you are a griever , you are prepared for this movie , but recommend it highly in the 1000 star performance sandler gave .

if you are not yet a griever , please take a lesson from his movie and just listen and accept people 's choices in their grief , letting them find peace in their own time ! sometimes , the soul can not utter the words to convey our pain .

go see this movie with tissues and not without preparing to take it in ... to your soul !